I have mentioned in the past that when I think that I am writing something for the benefit of others, it turns out that I am really writing to myself. Or maybe more correctly, God is writing to me. The “Swinging-Bridge of Grace” post was one of those occasions. After I wrote it God began to point out the area in my life where I have refused to get on that swinging-bridge. It all comes down to fear. So Aida, this part two and it may not be what you expected, but it is where I am.
I have mentioned this in the past, so it is no big secret that I don’t like to speak in front of a crowd. This includes leading a group in prayer. I will do it if I am asked, but I usually go out of my way to avoid putting myself into a situation where I might be asked. I will not, as a general rule, be the initiator. When I do pray out loud, it is usually not from my heart. It is usually canned phrases strung together…it’s what people expect to hear in an opening or closing prayer. It is nothing like my prayers when I am alone with God.
I do, however, long to be fearless in this area. I long stand up and boldly speak and pray from my heart, or should I say God’s Heart, and to get on that bridge in this area of my walk. As usual (at least lately), Casting Crowns has provided the sound track to my struggle. It is their song, “Somewhere in the Middle” and here is the chorus from that song.
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle?
Deep water faith in the shallow end, indeed! How will we ever know how deep our faith is if we never get out of the shallow end? To be sure, I have walked into deeper water and trusted more and more areas of my life to Him. But, have I ever jumped in over my head and completely surrendered to Him with reckless abandon? I don’t think so, at least not in this particular area. So much of what we do is wrapped up in common sense and protecting an image we have of ourselves; the one we portray when everyone is looking.
I was listening to an mp3 series on the Book of Ephesians by Steve McVey recently and he made a statement that set me to thinking and praying. He said (paraphrased) that we should pray for God to make us aggressive and bold witnesses and ambassadors for Him. When we say amen, we have been given boldness (fearlessness). I believe it is God’s will that we should be fearless for the Bible tells us that we haven’t been given a spirit of fear. Steve said, “How will we know we have been given boldness?” He said do this, “Go out and act bold! When you act bold you will be bold.” Is it just that easy? Why not? Since He has given you boldness, then you will just be acting like who you are, or more correctly, who He has made you to be. If He has given you boldness, then to cower in fear is to purposely act like something you are not. Something to ponder!
I have attached the music and lyrics to the Casting crowns song. To be continued Lord willing…keep praying for me.
I have mentioned this in the past, so it is no big secret that I don’t like to speak in front of a crowd. This includes leading a group in prayer. I will do it if I am asked, but I usually go out of my way to avoid putting myself into a situation where I might be asked. I will not, as a general rule, be the initiator. When I do pray out loud, it is usually not from my heart. It is usually canned phrases strung together…it’s what people expect to hear in an opening or closing prayer. It is nothing like my prayers when I am alone with God.
I do, however, long to be fearless in this area. I long stand up and boldly speak and pray from my heart, or should I say God’s Heart, and to get on that bridge in this area of my walk. As usual (at least lately), Casting Crowns has provided the sound track to my struggle. It is their song, “Somewhere in the Middle” and here is the chorus from that song.
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle?
Deep water faith in the shallow end, indeed! How will we ever know how deep our faith is if we never get out of the shallow end? To be sure, I have walked into deeper water and trusted more and more areas of my life to Him. But, have I ever jumped in over my head and completely surrendered to Him with reckless abandon? I don’t think so, at least not in this particular area. So much of what we do is wrapped up in common sense and protecting an image we have of ourselves; the one we portray when everyone is looking.
I was listening to an mp3 series on the Book of Ephesians by Steve McVey recently and he made a statement that set me to thinking and praying. He said (paraphrased) that we should pray for God to make us aggressive and bold witnesses and ambassadors for Him. When we say amen, we have been given boldness (fearlessness). I believe it is God’s will that we should be fearless for the Bible tells us that we haven’t been given a spirit of fear. Steve said, “How will we know we have been given boldness?” He said do this, “Go out and act bold! When you act bold you will be bold.” Is it just that easy? Why not? Since He has given you boldness, then you will just be acting like who you are, or more correctly, who He has made you to be. If He has given you boldness, then to cower in fear is to purposely act like something you are not. Something to ponder!
I have attached the music and lyrics to the Casting crowns song. To be continued Lord willing…keep praying for me.
"Somewhere In The Middle"
Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my sideLoving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle
Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves
Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me
Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control
Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my sideLoving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
1 comment:
Gary, this was a great post and I can really relate to what you've said. I've stopped going to prayer groups because, when I'm in a group, I get phony and start praying as you said canned phrases. As I'm learning to pray from my heart without all of the theatrics involved, I feel it's best that it just be me and my Daddy.
I'm different from you in that I love to speak before a crowd. I really get animated and into performance mode when I have the opportunity so that just makes it harder for me to focus on praying to Father instead of perfoming for the crowd.
There are so many areas of my life where I know I'm holding back because of fear but I do see some freedom growing in those areas. What I find comforting is that Jesus hasn't started the journey across the bridge without me. Religion tells us that Jesus keeps moving and if we don't move we'll be left behind. How can that be true when he said he would never leave us or forake us? No. Instead, he's standing right there ahead of me encouraging me to go forward with him and, when I do, he'll be right there helping me to navigate the difficult journey.
Thanks for posting this. It was great and just what I needed to read.
Aida
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